I recently read an interesting article that caught my immediately and I thought to myself, what is the benefit of dating a married a man, let alone trying to get him to commit to you.
The common sense in me is dying to come out and here I am.
How is someone who is already in a committed relationship will be able to commit to someone else? He cannot have two commitments as one will fall apart eventually. One is bound by law, and the other is bound by emotions.
I do have to ask is why would someone do something like this and be with someone who is already taken? Do they not have enough confidence in themselves that they are able to attract someone who is perfect for them, meets what they are looking for and is single?
The common words that I hear from friends of mine who took a change in dating a married man, who says that they will leave their spouses for the person that they are having an affair with. That rarely ever happens, and if they do, then they are bound to pretty much cheat on you with someone else. In many ways I would say it is Karma!
If there are children involved then that is even worse and those children will be hurt from the affair. I believe that the best thing to do if you are having an affair with a married man is to:
1. End the relationship.
The relationship is not going to progress into anything great. Putting your life on hold while available honest men pass you by, that would be able to provide all that you are needing.
So it is best to cut your losses now. It will save your heart from further damage. Consider the people that you are hurting in the process, such as his wife, his children (if any), and for you if you have any children. They are the innocent bystanders of this traumatic experience.
2. Find out how you feel about yourself and what made you choose this person?
This is important as the question is what is it about this person attracted you to them. Do you really love yourself? Finding out who you are and learning about yourself is key in order for you to grow.
3. Seek counseling to help you cope with this loss, and learn more in how to prevent this from happening again. Gain a better understanding what and how love should be. Love should not include lies, but of honesty.
I see these extra-maritial affairs as a slippery slope all the way downhill and to never to be able to climb back up again. If a person is in this type of affair, remember the man is controlling everything and basically you are giving up your life over to them. When you will meet, when you will do things together, cancelling your plans just to meet with them when they have time. It is not worth it. Get your self-esteem back and learn to stand on your own.
